The Verizon DSL saga came to the end of a chapter today. I spent way too much time sitting on hold (although at least I can get work done that way), and concluded that:

1. Verizon is way too big, and provisioning, billing, and tech support don’t talk to each other.
2. They don’t care about making customers happy.
3. They can’t upgrade my DSL without 2-3 weeks of downtime.

Ugh. As suggested last night, I have a “legacy” frame-relay DSL setup. They’re deploying ATM-based DSL now. In order to upgrade, I need to switch services.

Technically, this is easy–ship me a new modem, swing my line from the old DSLAM to the new one, and update a couple database entries. Unfortunately, they don’t work that way. They don’t have a button for “rebuild link” in their order-entry system. Just “delete” and “add.” And there’s at least a 2-week gap in between the two.

You know, if they had competition, then they wouldn’t act like this. Oh, wait–they do have competition–I could go with Covad or Comcast. Except, Verizon seems to be lying to Covad about my wiring or something, either that or routing my wires in weird ways. I’m wired into the BOTHWAXB CO, apparently. According to Verizon, I’m 7800 feet from the CO. According to the database that they give to Covad, I’m over 30,000 feet from SWLLKWAXA. Uh, yeah, guys. Whatever. If the numbers that Washington’s PUC puts out are valid, I’m wired into the single largest CO in the state, and I’d really expect Covad to have a presence there.

So, at this point, I have three things to try. First, I have a friend who was, until recently, one of the DSL installers for Verizon in my area. He’s now working at a desk for them, but he can probably get me in touch with someone that can make things go smoother. Second, I’m going to talk to Covad again, and see if they can explain the database issue. Third, I’m going to talk to the PUC (er, “UTC” in Washington, apparently).

You know, who’d have guessed that it’d be this hard to give people more money?