So, here’s the thing: I’ve had Verizon DSL for years, and I’ve been waiting for FiOS almost the whole time.

Two years ago, they pulled fiber to within 3 blocks of my house. I was stuck waiting.

Six months ago, they tore up my front yard and put in fiber. I figured that the waiting was over. I called the phone number that they’d plastered all over the neighborhood and they told me that it’d be available for ordering around 415. So I waited a bit more tried to order. They told me that it’d be a couple more weeks, and they’d call me back around 428.

I’m still waiting. They never called back. Their online ordering system claims that it’s not available at my house, and I’ve checked every week since early April. When I call to see what’s up, I end up sitting on hold for 30 minutes and then someone rudely tells me to wait until they send someone around to hang “fiber’s available” fliers on my door and stop calling. Sometimes it takes extra time to get the office end of the circuit set up, and they won’t let me order until that’s done, you see.

Yeah, right–Like Verizon’s going to put fiber in the ground 6 months before they bother setting up all of their CO hardware if they have any choice in the matter. If I recall correctly, they’ve actually been grilled on that on their quarterly earnings calls before; putting fiber in the ground costs a lot of money, and they want to start recouping it as quickly as they can. The average that I’ve seen for other places is 4-6 weeks, not 6 months. So I strongly suspect that something’s wrong with their availablity database.

This morning I got fed up, so I entered my next-door neighbor’s phone number and address. Ten seconds later, Verizon’s ready to let me order fiber for him. It’s available next door, just not here. It’s the same cul-de-sac, there are no roads to cross. And I know that there’s fiber 30 feet from my current NTI, so it’s not even a tough run for them.

Ah ha! So I called the phone number listed on Verizon’s Business FiOS website (I need a static IP, so I need business FiOS). After 5 minutes on hold, an agent listened to my story and transfered me to the FiOS group. Which promptly announced “we’re not open, call back during business hours” and hang up on me. Without bothering to tell me what the business hours actually were.

You’d think that paying someone $100/month would be easier than this, right?

Update: Apparently waiting until after 8:00 PDT was good enough; the first person that I talked to on the second call has scheduled someone to come out and verify that I have fiber in the ground. Once that’s done, it should be orderable within 2–3 days.

Update Sep 16: By “2–3 days,” I think they really meant 2–3 weeks. I called back today and the 4th person that I talked to was very polite, but couldn’t do much to help me. She saw that the last call was in the system, but said that I should wait another week or two to hear back.

Update Oct 19: They called back at the end of September and left a message asking me to call, but when I returned the call no one at the call center had any idea why I was being asked to call. There was no status on my ticket, although it had apparently been closed. So they tried ordering another line inspection, and said they’d call back in a few days. Ha. Amazingly enough, when I checked the FiOS website this morning, it worked! It’ll let me order now. Unfortunately, FiOS business DSL won’t let me order a static IP online, and trying to order business FiOS with a dynamic IP leaves me stuck in a loop (“FiOS is available! Pick a package! Oh, what’s your phone number? FiOS is available! Pick a package!”). Oh well, I guess I can wait for their call center to open.

Update Oct 20: Ordered! Install date: 1031, 8:00 AM.